We had a lot of women who had the same mentality as Pepa had back in the mid to late 90s. You’d speak to them respectfully, treat them like a diva and offer to be their boyfriend. They would say, “I know you’re a great guy, but I can’t go out with you because you’re too nice.” She knows you’re handsome, makes good money, and treat her well, but you behave too correctly. In the mid-90s, if you dressed intelligently and were not a “thug,” there was usually no dice for you. The most exciting women were not interested. That gave rise to a whole generation of fake thugs. Guys would fake being tough to date the hot girl in town. There were pregnant sweethearts everywhere. Artificial thugs were knocking them down.
“I sometimes kick myself when I think about what could have been,” Pepa told Global Grind. “He was so nice, but I wasn’t feeling him.” The iconic female rapper reminisced. “I guess I couldn’t appreciate a nice guy like Will Smith. He wasn’t thug enough. I was attracted to thugs and hoodlums. Will was too nice for me.” – Pepa.
My Experience
I remember living in The Gambia when I’d ask some of these so-called thug-loving girls out on a date. Some of them would say things like, “you’re not my type” or “you’re too sweet,” and they would say the same something to me (not necessarily Gambian girls). I don’t know if it was supposed to be a diss or what? Based on my growth, most girls still living back home would want to date me today.
The funny part about it is that the guys whom those sweethearts (who said stuff like that) were interested in (at that time) came to me to borrow clothes, shoes, money, or even the latest music. I was the ghostwriter for the “thug rappers” they admired. Because I was one of the few guys in town with droves of relatives (parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts) overseas, I would receive suitcases full of designer clothes and shoes from America or England plus a monthly stipend. I just wasn’t charming enough.
But… There was no need to brag about my relatives overseas or the things I had. I wanted to be an author or an emcee. That’s why I read extensively to concentrate on self-education. My parents are God-fearing people who taught me to speak adequately, dress neatly, and treat everyone respectfully. I had a fair share of dates, but the most exciting babes in town said I was “too cute. And for that, there were no dice. They preferred to be impregnated by the guy who borrowed my Nike Airs rather than allowing me to treat them nicely. Funnily enough, I would have spoiled them rotten if they had come out with me.
Before Radical Feminism Gained Popularity
“I thought Will was charming, and we would hang out often on the road. Will liked to care for me and never let me spend a dime. Will Smith was that kind of guy, really generous. He asked me to go out with him when they won their first award. He was so excited. We were walking along the street, ready to grab something to eat, and he just gave this homeless guy 100 dollars….”
That was years before radical feminism became the new trend for most women. As they are gullible enough to fall for womanism now, they did the same with thugs in the 90s. It was all about dating the “bad boy.” None of those guys whom they admired were even close to being accurate. This shows the type of choices some of our sisters make regarding dating. As you can see, Will Smith became a mega blockbuster superstar. He is one of the highest-selling Hip-Hop artists of all time, and he met and married Jada, an entirely better choice than Pepa. And they’ve raised a gorgeous family since then.
Two Decades Later
Wistfully, all those girls who said that to the none impressive guys like me back then have since hit the wall. They’ve been impregnated by several thugs they admired. Those guys slept with their relatives and friends, impregnating many other ladies nationwide. They got fat, wrinkly, and you name the rest. Some of them got married to the said thug, and that ended in divorce shortly after that. Most of the girls who said things like what Pepa said about Will or guys like me back then would run to be our side chick now. Or They will join a movement of entitlement claiming that “there are no good men.”
Most of those women are older now, still single or divorced single mothers. They’ve reached their 40s/50s and are saying, “where did all the good men go?” Or “how come I can’t find a guy?” Their child support or alimony payments have expired. The children they had with those “bad boys” way back then have all grown up. Some of the women who said that are now championing the new movement of radical feminism or womanism. Others have gone to college and started great careers. Some have become bitter, others have resolved to religion, etc. And the thugs they admired are still out there thugging it.
I say this to tell good guys never to stop being great. Just because one or two of your favorite babes have rejected you doesn’t mean you should change who you are. Focus on your goals and be patient. You will find someone who appreciates and deserves all the pleasant experiences you offer. Continue to open doors, pull out chairs, speak properly, dress neatly, and dream big. Treat everyone with respect. Be true to yourself. In the end, you will be happy those sweethearts didn’t linger with you.*