Suppose you’ve followed my articles on Facebook. In that case, you might recall a piece from years back when I was still in Canada, discussing the pitfalls of online dating, particularly after a major company consolidated almost every dating app under one roof. It’s not that online dating is futile; somewhat, their business model hampers your chances of success. They instill fear of stalkers or creeps, discouraging sharing personal information in your profile. Recall my intention to use my dating app profile to promote my music. I invited people to check out my books, visit my Wikipedia page, explore my website, and connect with me on social media. The reaction was one of shock. “Oh no! He’s doing PR! He’s boasting!”
Some people believe that dating apps are the ideal setting to mitigate the sting of rejection. People had shown a preference for initiating dates through apps rather than at bars and nightclubs. I’d say the concept of rejection is often seen as a fundamental anxiety in dating. Consider this: “Rejection” suggests that someone has declined your offer. Yet, if they do so without fully exploring what they are declining, it indicates they were never your suitable match. From my perspective, I am a valuable individual with much to contribute. It doesn’t affect me if someone doesn’t recognize that; I think, “Well, it’s their loss.” After all, nobody is flawless. Perhaps the term “rejection” should be replaced with “decline.”
Anyone viewing your dating profile should be able to confirm your identity and lifestyle. That’s what attracts most romantic partners. I want you to know that making sure that the person you’re interested in is genuine is essential. Why spend months conversing with someone only to discover years later that they are unhappily married? I chose to highlight music, books, and websites because that’s my area of expertise. Another person might be an accountant or a lawyer. There could be a nurse or a firefighter. If you’re genuinely using the app to find your sweetheart, it’s best to showcase your personality and lifestyle in your profile. Your vacation photos are useless to someone interested in your real life.
However, the app’s community guidelines limit users from showcasing their true individuality or their lifestyle. Not everyone is alike; some enjoy golfing, while others collect firearms. Some are fond of fishing, and others prefer exercising and taking mirror selfies. I’m obsessed with amateur photography and posting those photos on social media. A dating app should not prohibit posting shirtless photos or bikini shots. Additionally, these apps have been accused of creating bogus accounts to lure users into subscribing. Numerous matches require a subscription to view when unsubscribed, but once subscribed, these matches often fail to respond when contacted. That in itself should be a criminal offense.
Dating apps also render some users’ accounts dormant, leading them to believe their account is active when, in reality, they’re viewing fake matches. That is very disrespectful. Additionally, it conceals your best matches to perpetuate your subscription, consequently leading you to date less desirables. Many people are single and yearning for connection. They eagerly await the chance to meet someone like you. Had the app paired you with each other, you might have chosen one another rather than settling for someone who ultimately wasted your time. That is how you can tell the apps are not genuine: there are too many good people compared to the few choices presented in your match results.
The discriminatory practices, racism, and class systems hinder men of certain races or social statuses from engaging with women of different races and social classes. The app would rather go broke before they hook up a Black mechanic with a Caucasian MD. And that’s even if the MD craved it. These systems remove autonomy, dictating who people can date, thereby obstructing certain people from accessing opportunities or improving their status by forming connections with influential people, even if there is mutual interest in such romantic connections. Since men constitute the largest demographic of subscribed customers, we have phased out the dating apps, resulting in a minimal selection for women.
Women are swiping left on dating apps due to fake profiles and less desirable matches on the platforms. They find themselves stuck in “talking stages” with potential partners, which seldom progress to a relationship or marriage because the connection was limited from the start. Others get pumped and ghosted. As time passes, these women realize that traditional men have abandoned the apps. They understand that they must look beyond the apps to find a marriageable partner. Many discover that the ideal man might be the guy next door. A simple smile, a greeting, and an agreement to meet for a latte and cake at a local cafe can lead to a wonderful dinner date, and eventually, wedding bells may ring.