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He moves similarly to the conventional patriarch, but he’s not. A patriarch? You ask. Yes. Feminists tend to forget about patriarchy when he speaks. His deep voice enthusiastically supports her impulsive decision to cut off her friends. They keep pointing out his red flags! His fit, toned physique, good hair, and clear skin pull heartstrings. After two weeks of passionate romance, Chad did the unthinkable. He dropped the L-bomb. There was no quick response to his L-bomb, so he built an impenetrable wall. That’s your 666, guy. He’s over 6 feet tall, makes more than six figures, and packs more than 6 inches down there.

Traditional Chad pledges monogamy with the possibility of marriage, but it’s in the unforeseeable future. The ladies dream of becoming his housewife while waiting for him in the 5-star suite booked with her credit card. By far the most peaceful of the guys she had picked before. This guy is an incredible Catch! She texts him all day, and he tells her how much he loves her. He continues the passionate romance. She meets his co-workers and gets along with his buddies. Now she’s one of them. She belongs to his crew. Her confident, intelligent, and stylish Catch will date her, dine on wine with chef-style cuisine.

An extensive collection of impressive ex-girlfriends…

Ladies, he loves culture and traditions but never seems ready to take the relationship to the next level. Deep down in your heart, you believe he’s great. That’s why you shut off that voice (in your head) that keeps questioning why your Traditional Chad has such an extensive collection of impressive ex-girlfriends. He’s inexplicably absent, you have limited access to his home, and after being his “queen” for years, you’re still waiting for him to put the crown on you. When you finally have him alone, it’s in a hotel room, on vacation, or at your house. There he’s so sweet, thoughtful, cuddly, and a sex machine. He’s fun!

Does he like the idea of starting a family with you more than settling down and starting a family with you? Then you realize you keep bumping into his exes, and they’re everywhere. Is he in a serious, long-term relationship with another woman? Oh, she’s his baby’s mama! He and his friends forgot to mention he has four children with two women. After you found out, you cut him off but couldn’t stop missing him, so you text him after a week. He’s trying to make things work with his baby mama, so you must meet secretly. You were fuckbuddies, and now you’re his side girl. This man must be the one! Right?!


Most people are familiar with agent James Bond 007. Everyone in the Hip Hop world knows the OG (Original Gangsta). James Bond would be the double OG (OOG) if he were an OG. Our guy in this Chad category has a third O, making him Agent OOO Chad. He’s the OG and James Bond’s godfather in the dating context. Another way to describe him is a sugar daddy. He’s what Traditional Chad will become when he’s 73 years old. Hey, don’t hate the player! A first wife was probably in a nursing home before she died. He’s old, but he’s also as strong as an ox. His children from his first wife are in their thirties.

But he still wants to sleep with younger women.

There’s a second wife. His children from that relationship are in their twenties. If there is no third wife, some mistresses may have given him extra offspring when he cheated on wives one and two. OOO Chad has some savings, retirement holdings, and insurance funds. His well-furnished and comfortable home is paid off. He can afford the lifestyle most young men pursue at the moment. He might not be big, but he’s in the six figures and can pack a badass punch. There’s no telling when the Viagra is in his system. He will marry and impregnate a 25-year-old emotionally broken woman with irreversible father issues.

Many attractive ladies are a magnet for OOO Chads. Some of his love interests have to devise clever justifications to sidestep the romantic allure of this dashing gentleman. He mastered the art of sweeping women off their feet decades ago. Laugh if you like, but this Chad arrives with some profound benefits. OOO Chads are known to leave their entire fortune as an inheritance to his young 25-year-old wife and five-year-old child. Not to mention that he’s an experienced sugar daddy during his lifetime. He enhances her lifestyle, takes care of her expenses, and showers her with valuable trips and gifts.

OOO Chad’s love interest will have it so good she can sponsor her side dude off of his leftovers. However, there could be a chance OOO Chad didn’t want any more kids. In this case, she would have to give up her dream of mothering a child during this long-term partnership. Or she must exit his gravy train. Of course, ladies, you’re probably not the one to date OOO Chad. You probably won’t give Traditional Chad the time of day as well. Money is these guys’ superpower which isn’t so attractive to a lady who became an executive after leaving grad school. You own your career, and you have your savings as well.

Let’s face it, some of the OOO Chads could be as old as 85 years old, still out here killing it in the game. I’ve heard that they flood countries like Thailand, Indonesia, Cuba, and the Dominican Republic. OOO Chad may have children older than his dramatically younger love interest, but he can hold a confidential discussion. Chad appreciates a strong, independent woman. He’s not a dirty older man. His favorite pastime is to receive blowjobs for hours after eating several blue pills. The longer she stays, the happier he becomes. This is a man who has grown very old, but he still wants to sleep with younger women.


The other guy that seems to blow modern women away relatively quickly is what they call Peter Pan. Given how many are walking around, they’re the male equivalent of single moms in the dating scene. You can find him swiping right on women’s Tinder profiles. He’s in the DMs of hundreds of ladies and adores every thirst trap on social media. He mastered the art of showering randomly selected women with male attention. This includes high school/college dropouts with no marketable skills. One can identify them as being in their later 30s or mid-40s while still living, talking, dressing, and acting like teenagers.

As an expert on dating websites…

Ladies, I hear you get butterflies when Peter Pan Chad secretly smuggles you into his mother’s basement. He lives there permanently. That means he has that baby face and bubbly character, making you and many other women miss him simultaneously. He’s got rock-hard six-pack abs, stands about 6’1″, and his third leg is well over the 6-inch mark. That’s why the neighbors said instead of being a loving wife to the Traditional Mr. Right; they keep hearing you moan in his basement. You pull up in your little car, ring the doorbell, whiz past his mother, and run down the basement stairs to jump into his arms.

You know that the 38-year-old Chad is far from an adult who aims to live in the suburbs with a 9-5 job, a wife, and three children. Peter Pan has been unemployed for so long that he has forgotten what paying taxes is like. When asked if he’s a father, Peter Pan Chad replies that he has several kids by different women, but luckily he doesn’t have to see them, as they live out of state. He never had a driver’s license. You and his mother take him everywhere he needs to go. You and his mom have equipped his basement with a mini luxury apartment. There’s a 70-inch plasma TV with every imaginable video game.

He’s the best partner for you because you enjoy playing mom. But… this carefree gentleman is an expert. He knows where all the festivals, hip bars, nightclubs, and parties are happening. He’s often on the dancefloor seducing his newest Tinder date. As an expert on dating websites, you usually drive around town looking for him. You know he’s constantly celebrating life and wants to join him. Peter Pan Chad washes down his Mcdonald’s with cold beers for breakfast and then meets his mate for an afternoon drink at the bar. They disappear when he meets his other pal, who has recently become homeless.

You interrogate a highly charismatic weed head at the corner store, hoping to find out where to find Pan. Luckily for him, you don’t. You will catch him passed out in his basement the following afternoon. On his cell phone next to him are text messages from a strange woman who says she was delighted with her incredible time with him at the motel yesterday. When Peter Pan gets hammered, he has unprotected sex on his date with the next woman he finds on Tinder. Yes, the ladies can’t resist this Casanova. After dating him for a few years, even after becoming his third baby’s mama, they call him Peter Pan.


Some Chads blend in with the good guys. In the dating scene, women have to choose. Their options are the “Right Man” and the “Wrong Man.” These alternatives fall into classifications. The Right Man is divided into Traditional Mr. Right, Secular Mr. Right, and Hybrid Mr. Right. These are visual creatures who think logically. Society labels them as patriarchs with toxic masculinity etc. Therefore, the wisest women have already chosen them. Those who the rest of the women have yet to decide on blend in with millions of adorable Chads who are the “Wrong Men.” Some Chads look like the “Right Man” at first glance.

Chad comes in all races: Arab Chad, Indian Chad, Black Chad, White Chad, Latino Chad, you name it. Some black Chads are known as Tyrone, Pookie, or Ray Ray. Women have a responsibility to distinguish the “Right Man” from Chad. Around-the-Way-Chad is a serial cheater who engages in numerous flings to “burst cheeks” or “blow backs out.” However, he’s in no hurry, though he’s happiest with unprotected sex on the first date. Naturally, conservative women will run away from him. Therefore, he spends weeks to months courting his newest interest. He’s a man of in-depth thought and captivating drama.

His newest love interest will spot some recurring fuckbuddies… 

His new lady gains valuable knowledge about local affairs, political consciousness, worldly cultures, and virtuous ethics. Around-the-Way-Chad is also well-connected in his community. He’s somewhat like Peter Pan but without his mama’s basement. Because of this, his newest love interest will spot some recurring fuckbuddies he hasn’t mentioned on his Facebook page. She has limited experience but believes she’s an expert, making her an easy catch. Ladies, most of you have received a warning to stay away from Around-the-Way-Chad. But he’s smooth. He knows your mental conditioning and uses that.

As a beautiful lady in the scene, you’re a treat to this guy. You’re conditioned to get to know a man before anything. If you don’t play by the rules, society labels you as a slut or a victim. You do that to please your conscience and society. You may have already rejected your Mr. Right. Around-the-way-Chad understands that. His mastery is an aggressive game that’s subtle at the same time. Like the OOO Chad, he’s not starved for female sexual attention. Contrarily, you break the rules to have sex with Around-the-Way-Chad. Your idea is if you didn’t sleep with him on the first date, you’re still a good woman.

However, this Chad has three baby mamas with multiple children. Today’s women swoon for that. Many will appreciate learning from him while also getting to know the fantastic version of himself that he reveals. He talks casually for a year. You didn’t have sex with him until the seventh or eighth date. After that, it was a home run. Around-the-way-Chad now orders booty calls, which you happily deliver. After another year as his concubine, you became suspicious. How come your wifey status feels so empty? After intense espionage, Around-the-Way-Chad tries to continue, but you refuse. He understands and respects that. He moves on to the next woman he has been chatting with in the last few months.


He’s had a super successful career. He has butlers, pilots, drivers and cooks, trainers, assistants, tailors, and guards working for him 24 hours. He’s always scheduled for an important meeting to give another big speech to hundreds of people. Everyone knows and admires him. Many would donate both kidneys to be in the same room with Executive Chad. After a modern woman dates the laid-back, down-to-earth, and easy-going Executive Chad for some time, she cannot tolerate Mr. Right for two seconds. She becomes a borderline alcoholic or junky or a spoilt brat who depends hopelessly on him for everything.

Executive Chad is the man who embodies all the qualities that…

Executive Chad will turn around and sleep with her mother, and she won’t leave. Many blood sisters don’t get along because he sleeps with them. Estranged Executive Chad often seduces a woman and even her married friends. Knowing he’s been a Raw Dawg Charlie throughout their marriage, his wife could be running for cover. That’s why his official relationship status is either separated or complicated. Attention is the modern woman’s magnet. Right next to drama. No. Not Mr. Right’s attention. Gosh, that makes him creepy. Most modern women admire the insatiable attention of others given to Executive Chad.

Call it fame, popularity, respect, or charisma. These women love this kind of attention. They often choose a man who has plenty of it. When a man constantly receives much attention from third parties, several modern women are not far away. Executive Chad is the man who embodies all the qualities that are impossible to simulate in the gym or the dressing room. He has the perfect facial bone structure, more than 6 inches down there, wildly verifiable richness, a prominent family name, and loads of third-party attention. When given the opportunity to select, most modern women claim to want Mr. Right.


Usually, however, their final choice says they prefer one Chad as they breeze over hundreds of Mr. Rights. Modern women have been asked to list their attractive qualities in many interviews. They said money, height, fitness, penis size, facial bone structure, beard, tattoos, deep voice, and personality. That’s why thousands of Chadians are working extra hard to convey the image of the man that modern women say attracts them sexually. Most heterosexual men can go to the gym and get fit. Any man can practice speaking in a deeper voice and showing the personality type that modern women find attractive.

Nevertheless, the problematic attributes to simulate are wealth, penis size, facial bone structure, and height. When it comes to these, you either have them or don’t. Of course, Executive Chad cultivates the atmosphere of the Hybrid Mr. Right. Many feminists adore him immediately. His long list of female conquests has made him dashing, but sometimes he makes repeated unsuccessful attempts to shag the women out of his league. You know, the conservative who does not sleep with Chads? Yeah, he stumbles there a lot. His biggest obstacle is his public life, which comes with a very public wife he can’t hide.

Here, the modern woman knows she’s far from Chad’s one and only. 

So he walks around with a wedding ring. That means Executive Chad shoots his shot at every woman. He has the qualities that attract most modern women on the dating scene. Therefore, despite these few hiccups, he only gets a few rejections. Modern women become gold diggers immediately after sleeping with him since he’s Executive Chad. On the plus side, modern women don’t mind being picked up in his Rolls Royce, traveling in his private jet, partying on his fancy yacht, or making love on silk sheets in million-dollar high-rise suites with panoramic views over the city, premier 24-hour room service.

Tens of thousands go towards shopping sprees, paying their bills, solving their problems, and taking them on trips. Other Chadians don designer clothes and expensive watches after treating themselves to mani and pedicures to resemble Executive Chad. When Executive Chad takes a lady out, it’s at a place where she saved up for her birthday. Ladies, you can order whatever you want. Please don’t worry. The waitress is on her way with a cocktail. If you’re down with his drama and ready to have fun, there’ll be a kiss before his driver takes you home. Here, the modern woman knows she’s far from Chad’s one and only. 


Ladies, you immediately swipe right on his profile. You get butterflies after you open the conversation, instantly believing he’s the one. After meeting and having sex with him within one hour of swiping right, you discover he can sing, dance, rap, act, model, play ten different instruments, cook, etc. How Amazing! You can’t wait to call your girlfriend to brag about your great Catch. This guy has learned many exciting things, traveled extensively, and speaks four other languages. And oh no! His mean parents abandoned him when he was a baby. He grew up in the streets with many other kids who didn’t have a father.

There’s no Rolls-Royce, private jet, yacht, or penthouse suites, but you don’t care about material things. There isn’t even a Mama’s basement to sneak into. Over here, the modern woman brings her electrifying beau to dinner. In this relationship, sometimes he plays handyman by moving all the heavy crap around. He fixes everything broken in the modern woman’s life. However, with nowhere to graduate and needing marketable skills, these efforts usually included a ducktape or wire hanger solution. He’s the cuter version of Peter Pan Chad, who even woos teenage girls, middle-aged women, and milfs on sight.

This guy would be instant royalty if he were rich. He’s Chad. His baby face is contagious. Its charm smites many modern women after just a few minutes of meeting him. He has rock-hard abs, stands about 6 feet 4 inches tall, and his third leg is over 9 inches. That’s why the modern woman often sits with Gigolo Chad in her car. That’s instead of choosing Mr. Right to give it to her in a deserted parking lot. Right, ladies? You pull up in your little car, text his cell phone, and he runs out the door. Racing to the liquor store, you buy him his favorite liquor. Then you reverse into that secluded parking lot for an epic car date.

You and he will head to the beach later. There, you will join other girls to admire his looks. Like Peter Pan Chad, Gigolo Chad is never married. He has no children. He’s unemployed, but you find him adorable, and he hits all your hotspots. It’s like he’s a psychic. He can read your mind. Okay, let’s say it. Gigolo Chad’s biggest problem is not knowing where to find the money. He can’t find the bag, travels between different temporary places of residence, and has a substance abuse problem. He snorts a line or two every few times daily, smokes many cigarettes, and drinks Grandpa’s old cough medicine at odd hours.

If you’re being honest, you’ll say there’s never a moment when Gigolo Chad is not high, drunk or both. Your girlfriends ask you what you love about him until he removes his shirt to make their mojito. He tells you all his big dreams, which will be his sad history’s glorious story and happy ending. Your best friend lingers when it’s time for her to go home. Will he do some frisky flirting with her when you leave them unattended together to make that next store run? Nonetheless, Gigolo Chad is a master of the dance floor and knows where the best festivals, happy hours, and parties are held. He’s entertaining.

Like Traditional Chad, Gigolo Chad drops the L-bomb after just a few hangouts. He loves you so much that he moved in, and you pay for everything. Gigolo Chad is your cute and fun sex machine who gives you multiple orgasms throughout the day. But he’s completely broke! It would be best if you met the urgent needs (food, cigarettes, alcohol, and cocaine) of your uneducated and unskilled gigolo. He doesn’t even pretend he has savings, retirement plans, or insurance funds at the end of his journey. Your home is his home, and he cannot afford the cheapest lifestyle but hopes to become extremely rich one day.*

About Post Author

Wilfred Kanu Jr.

Wilfred Kanu Jr., known as Freddy Will, is a Sierra Leonean-born American author, music producer, and recording artist. He writes on history, philosophy, geopolitics, biography, poetry, public discourse, and fiction. He resides in Berlin, Germany, mixing hip-hop music with jazz, calypso, dancehall, classical, r&b, and afrobeat.
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